Mrs. Doubtfire might’ve been onto something…

Years ago, an acquaintance gave me a gift book I wasn’t sure was real or gag, Joey Green’s Amazing Kitchen Cures: 1,150 Ways to Prevent and Cure Common Ailments with Brand-Name Products.  Just as the title suggests it has one suggestion after the other for everything from A-Z; well, A-Y anyway (Acne to Yeast infection).

One of my favorite “cures” is for insomnia:  Twinkies.  It’s rationale?  ”Having a small snack before bed, like a Twinkie, subdues hunger pangs that might otherwise keep you tossing and turning.”  Joey does have a point…!

There are antidotes for many health-related issues (headaches, kidney stones, nosebleeds) and injuries (bee stings, blisters, cuts and scrapes), and then there are beauty remedies.  Oh, my…following a few of these suggestions will save you hundreds of dollars at the department store….

*If* you’re brave enough to try them!

Facials

  • Elmer’s Glue-All ~ Coat your face with a thin layer of Elmer’s Glue-All (avoiding eyes).  Let dry (takes about 20 minutes), then gently peel it off, exfoliating a thin layer of skin.  Elmer’s Glue-All is water soluble, so you can always wash it off with warm water should it stick to your eyebrows.  Your skin will feel baby smooth.
  • Dannon Yogurt. To tighten pores and cleanse skin, spread Dannon Yogurt (plain or flavored) over your face, wait 20 minutes, then wash off with lukewarm water.
  • Reddi-wip ~ Using Reddi-wip as a facial mask moisturizes dry skin and gives it a healthy glow.  Leave it on for 20 minutes, then wash off this dessert topping with warm water, followed by cold water.
  • Tidy Cats ~ Mix two handfuls of unused Tidy Cats with enough water to make a thick, muddy paste.  Smear the mud oer your face to create a deep cleansing mud mask, let it set for 20 minutes, then rinse your face clean with water.  The clay from the cat box filler detoxifies your skin by absorbing dirt and oil from the pores.

Makeup

  • Crisco All-Vegetable Shortening. A dap of Crisco removes makeup and moisturizes the skin.
  • Cool Whip. wet face with lukewarm water, spread a handful of Cool Whip on face, rinse clean with lukewarm water, and blot dry.  The oils in Cool Whip also moisturize the skin.
  • Vaseline Petroleum Jelly.  A dab of Vaseline cleans mascara, eyeliner, lipstick and rouge from skin.

Shampoo

  • Comet.  To strip styling gel and hair spray build-up from hair, dissolve one tablespoon Comet (without bleach) in two cups water, pour the solution through hair, and let set for three minutes.  Shampoo and condition as usual.
  • Heinz Apple Cider Vinegar. Add one tablespoon Heinz Apple Cider Vinegar to a 12-ounce bottle of shampoo and sake it well.  The vinegar thickens the shampoo (so you use less), helps rinse styling gel and hair spray buildup from your hair, and restores natural acids.
  • Listerine.  If you have oil hair, use a cotton ball to apply Listerine to your scalp after shampooing.  The mouthwash, being both an antiseptic and an astringent, will slow down oil secretions.

Those are just a smattering of what the book has to offer, and I have to admit, my poor children who suffer from occasion warts have tried a few remedies (Band-Aids and Morton Salt, Elmer’s Glue-All, Hydrogen Peroxide); none has worked worse–or better-than over the counter helps.

As for me, when my children were in diapers I used Huggies Baby Wipes to remove makeup successfully.  And though I’m not sure if it worked, I slathered Vicks Vapor rub on my toenails when I discovered a dreaded nail fungus after a pedicure.

Have home remedies worked for you?  Did they do further damage or accomplish what you hoped they would?

 
 

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